I Give Thanks….

 

After reading and seeing everyone’s happy, pappy Thanksgiving posts on social media, I thought I’d just share mine with you.

Here you go:

  • I give thanks to the man with the initials M.C. who married me and then agreed with me without hesitation when I told him, “Our time together has come to an end. We need to divorce!” See ya.
  • I give thanks for the medication other people take on a daily basis to help them cope. This, so I don’t have to deal with and listen to their BS issues in MY life on a daily basis.
  • I give thanks I can afford a home big enough to fit my family comfortably, but small enough for out-of-town guests to have to stay in a hotel when they visit.
  • I give thanks & laughter to the people that put up moronic posts on social media, and only 1 person likes it. Themselves.
  • I give thanks to the recall of romaine lettuce. I don’t know about you, but I was getting tired of eating Caesar salads, and I needed the plug yanked, jump on the wagon and the bejesus scared out of me.
  • I give thanks I can drive my car and think of every single thing I have to do between now and the end of my life and then find myself at my destination without really knowing how I got there. Poof, like the car, just knew.
  • I give thanks to the Real Housewives of whatever city on BRAVO. Um, just because. These bitches are that good to watch nightly!
  • I give thanks to having a day-job, and although it can be challenging at times, I’ll take this aggravation over the agita I would get having to chit-chat with the ladies in my town who drink. Oops, I mean lunch!
  • I give thanks for being able to get thru years of stand-up comedy, only to cave because it sucked the funny out of me. Then moved to the suburbs with my new family and finding my funny all over again. You see there is nothing more entertaining than a New York City girl trying to survive in suburban Connecticut.
  • And finally, this Holiday season I give thanks we celebrate all the Holidays in my household. Because my husband’s Jewish family needs someplace to go other than the movies and needs to eat something other than Chinese or Japanese food on this special day. Oh, yeah and I told them this is the day we also take the Christmas tree down, and I would love their help!

And that’s my time…

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