The Awkward School Photo


This is one school day that for the life of me I cannot understand what happens to these kids when they go into that building.  Last year my son left the house looking like a cute, clean-cut 4th grader.  We worked hard on his look for this day.  A morning shower, picked out clothes, blow-out hair (he has a long mane, so it’s essential.) All easy peasy.  His photos came back, and he looked like he was one of the characters from the Netflix show – The Trailer Park Boys!  What the hell happens to these kids on this “special day”?  Is there a brawl on the morning bus ride?  Do the kids get hit with 90mph dust winds as they walk thru the doors of the school?  I’m starting to think the staff deliberately runs them around to sweat-‘em up right before the photo, sits them down in front of the camera and then yells “smile” as they let out a little chuckle.  I mean really, can you help a parent out?

And the buffet of photo packages you can buy.  I need 1.  O-N-E.   Not the 3, 18×24 size photos, with the 25 wallets.  Oh ya, you know this peculiar family that buys this package, because I do.  The family that hangs these photos all over the “family room” – every school year for every child.  There’s a red flag on that family if you ask me.  I don’t need his photo on a custom beer koozie, or in a shape of a cookie or on 8 rolls of toilet paper – as a keepsake.  Nope, I need ONE photo and only one.

So this year I will get up, get his “outfit” ready and attempt to blow-dry his hair ‘cause he’s got to do it all on his own now.  I’ll cross my fingers for an acceptable photo.  And even if they come back and he once again looks like he’s been dipped in lard with a dazed and confused expression, I know I have done my deed as a Mother and the “photo apple” didn’t fall too far from our family tree.


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