I’m moving forward, or maybe backwards in my life these days. You see, in my past life, BC (a.k.a. before child) I had a creative lifestyle performing stand-up comedy in Manhattan and pounding the pavement one audition at a time. Being born with the ability to see life just slightly different from the majority of everyone else, I, must admit, made me the eccentric character among others. But I finally feel very distinct and original being me and I love to laugh, make others laugh, and I loved performing stand-up. You know why? Because I was able to share my unique perspective on any topic or anyone and didn’t give 2 craps. My reward? Laughter. If you’ve ever had the courage to say what you are thinking and at the end get a full belly laugh out of those you are with, it’s a high that exceeds any of today’s fake news.
I’m all grown up now. I’m 57. Pounds. And currently the oldest mother of a 10-year old living in suburban land. With child comes responsibility and I was diligent to adhere to the rules of motherhood and all that goes with living in my new found foreign terrain; the start of a new residential career in the real world (more on that later) and keeping my mouth shut as best I could. And you know what? I’m exhausted trying to be the level-headed thinking woman I’m told I should be. Lately people are starting to just piss me off and I need this creative outlet back to feed my sanity otherwise I fear I might just implode.
I want to shout about how I see the funny, the chaos, the senseless and bore around me. And no, I’m not going to post about, the latest trend in clothes, like the triple button high wasted jeans, the no knee jeans or the invisible jeans, what food to buy, how to cook it, or who to hire to cook the food or the latest trend in losing weight – my new favorite where you jump into a chamber and freeze yourself for 3 minutes to burn hopefully 5-800 calories. Guess it works. You’re frozen. How can you eat? Or how great my child is (those are endless posts!), or what table to sit at in the new soon-to-be defunct restaurant, or how to organize your closet, garage, or thoughts in your head, or oh, the endless selfies. Ugh. I’d like to take a poll on how many selfies the average adult has of themselves. And the hashtags. I’m in business, I’m told they are important, so to try and make my point on how absurd I think they are I searched #NYC. 92,000+ came up. Why? Who cares? But I looked. The first post was a photo of wolves with speech bubbles stating that they are not “f’ing fabric”. Hysterical! Okay, I was trying to make a point and it clearly backfired. I’m human. That’s why you should come back to this blog. It will be honest and real and after each post or better yet, life through the eyes of hiLARIousJEAN, I hope it just makes you laugh! Remember, I have one eye on you and one eye on the funny! And that’s my time.
#mytime #yourtimesup #iseeyou #youshouldbescared #nycwolves #lookbehindyou #Iamfreezing #aremyjeansontheytoldmetheyareinvisible #watchoutforme #donotpissmeoff #nextpostaboutyou #thatsmytime
Many years ago, a comic I dated told me a story about another comic who asked him in a serious tone if he’d rather “freeze to death or burn to death?” This comic said, “I told him I’d rather not hang out with you!” Right then and there I knew – 1. I was happy to be dating this comic and 2. Happier this comic seriously answered him without missing a beat. I miss my people!