Let’s face it after 20+ years living in Manhattan I’ve had my share of dealings with critters and bugs. To me, that meant rats the size of small cats, roaches the size of my fingers and the eau de toilette fragrance of dead mice decomposing in your walls. And of course “single men in their 20’s, 30’s but that’s another blog. And those pigeons, they can get down right out of hand when they’re in numbers and if you’re sooooo lucky to sit next to a person in the City that has the NEED to feed them you’ll eventually get pooped on and some idiot will always tell you (who has never been pooped on) it means “good luck”. Let me ask you, “Is it lucky to have crap on your shoulder in the middle of NYC?” Anyway, to me that was my extent of “wild animals” in Manhattan. In the suburbs, or the TriBurbs where I live anyway, there’s a whole new meaning to term “Wild Animal”. Deer, frogs, wild turkeys, coyotes, bear and Pileated woodpeckers (yes I had to look up the word Pileated) trust me this bird is no “Woody” and the chipmunks, they may be small, but they are tough little guys. Squirrels? Personally they are rats with cute tails and good PR. These things are fierce. I mean if they find food, watch out. They are what is called in the theatre a “triple threat”- You know someone who can sing, act and dance. Squirrels can climb, leap and fly. Good God, I’ve never seen anything like it. Oh and my recent encounter with a turtle. No not a small one that you can hold in your hand and proclaim how cute it is, but one the size of a garbage can lid. This experience was one for the books. On a beautiful day, I witnessed this turtle in my driveway struggling to get itself out of a hole, I felt bad (first mistake) and went to pick it up to help the little guy (second mistake) and like ET it elongated its neck right out of its shell and spun it’s head around and snapped at me – there’s a lot of neck in that shell! Go to find out SHE was trying to lay her eggs in the hole in my gravel driveway! Who knew?!! And my neighbors told me about the bats that fly around at night and they like to live in the rafters and attics (if they can get in) of your home. Bats?! Oh no, correcting that right away. Went right online and bought the biggest bat house and nailed it onto the furthest tree in my yard – I’m a Realtor® I know good location! Yep, I’m getting smarter out here day by day. I just needed to rework my NY thought process on critters. Good part about living in the burbs: animals and pests are everywhere, but at least here they mostly live outside your home, not inside! And that’s my time!
My advice: get a cat!